Sep 28, 2007

Worry Shmirry

Jesus says to not worry about anything, and yet we all do. I spend so much wasted time and energy worrying about things I can't control because I'm afraid of what "might" happen. What if? What if I allow myself to trust and get abandoned again? What if I can't make enough money? What if I end up old and alone? What if I never live up to the potential the Lord intented? What if I make a life changing mistake? What if I fail? What will people think? What if this is it? What if my dreams never come true?

On and on and on...right?

In the back of my mind I can hear the Holy Spirit saying, "Do not worry, do not fret. I will take care of you." How easily I push the voice of truth out of my mind and choose to let the enemies voice in.

So, what is there to say? I guess we all worry. We all have fears, hurts and issues. We all do. But, God promises to take care of us. He promises to turn any situation into something good, something beautiful even. He turns our ashes into beauty. So, let us throw away the lies of the enemy and grab onto hope. Let us grab onto truth. Let us cling to the good and reject the bad. We're all in this thing called life together. If I can do it, believe me, anyone can.

Sep 26, 2007

Bitter Sweet

You can ask anyone...Ashland is a very strange place. But there is a unique quality about it that draws you in. I strolled downtown Ashland today with coconut ice cream in hand. I enjoyed the sun on my face as my ice cream dripped down the side of my cone. Meandering my way through Lithia park I smiled at everyone I passed by. Of course most of them ignored me, but some smiled back and that seemed to satiate my need for human contact.

It's always kind of bitter sweet doing things alone. On the one hand I love spending time alone and just savouring the moment. On the other, I always end up seeing something funny or really special that makes me want someone to share it with. Yet, I always come back to the conclusion that being alone is crucial. Solitude forces us to be content with ourselves and our relationship with God. It also opens our eyes to things, people and nature that I don't think we'd see when accompanied by another. Some of the greatest and most important conversations I've had have been with total strangers that God placed on my path when I was alone. Often the greatest sunsets, rainbows, or stormy clouds were noticed when I was alone.

Like I said...bitter sweet. Without some sorrow how would we ever know the sweetness of joy?

Sep 24, 2007

Home Again...

To my Texas Girls! Love you sooo much! I had so much fun and I am so glad you are a part of my life! Thanks for being my friends and always knowing how to put a smile on my face.

Sep 23, 2007

Texas...Day 4

It's my last morning in Texas. I strolled out of bed with 12 hours of sleep under my belt. I crashed last night. I was exhausted. Jordan pours me a cup of coffee and I sit comatose on their rocking chair while I stare off into the distance. Boy, I'm gonna miss them.

After I get some caffeine in me and allow the blood to disperse through my veins more evenly I realize I'm hungry and head for the pantry. I toast myself, Jordan and Ashley some cinnamon bread and we discuss the plans for the day until my flight heads out. I'm excited to be with them, sad to say goodbye.

As the morning slowly fades into the afternoon I realize I need to start packing my stuff up and get ready. Jordan says, "Why don't you just stay. All you have to do is miss your flight, it's as easy as that." I laugh and think what pandemonium that would be to shirk my life in Grants Pass. I don't even want to think about it.

It's at least good to know that all it takes to live somewhere are people you love. I could live in Timbuktu for the rest of my life if it was with people I care about and who care about me. Home is definitely where the heart is. Luckily, my heart is easy to transport around. :)

Sep 22, 2007

Texas...Day 2

It's past 3am and I look at Ashley with a glazed over stare. We both smile and realize that for the past five hours we've come up with the same conclusion we knew five hours earlier. "Somehow, I feel better though," Ashley says as she hugs a pillow.

"Yeah, me too," I nod and giggle.

We all have fears, doubts, frustrations and times of weakness. But what I've come to learn and to understand is everything in life continually brings us back to one question. "Do I really believe in God?"

Is His word true? Are His promises true? All His promises inluding the one's where He says we will suffer and know pain. If I say I believe then I have to accept all of Him. If I say I believe I have to live through the good and the bad. If I say I believe then I have to keep trusting even if I never receive what I desire.

"Do I really believe?"

I'm thankful to have friends in my life that are willing to spend five hours of their time with me only to arrive where we started. Yet, with deeper understanding and more determination then before we can still say..."Yes, I do believe."

Sep 20, 2007 1

Hope is like a seed, it needs to be watered, cultivated and nurtured with care. I talked to a man today that had given up on hope. I knew from God that is was by no accident that he sat next to me on a three hour plane ride. I don't believe in accidents. So, with obedience I listened to God's voice and breathed truth into our conversation. God wanted to cultivate his dry, hard ground and spring up new life.

Hope is passed from one person to the other. I came to Texas today to spend time with people that God so graciously placed in my life. They offer me hope. They water the seed that lives inside of me and spur it on towards growth.

People die without hope. Our entire existence surrounds hope. Without hope there is no faith. We hope in the things we cannot see. We have faith. Faith is the very foundation of our relationship with God. Paul said the most important things are faith, hope and love. Is it no wonder these are the very things the enemy wants to destroy in us?

May the God of peace fill you with hope and breathe new life into dry and weary bones.

Sep 19, 2007

Classical Beauty

When I was young I would sit and listen to classical music for hours. I would close my eyes as I lay on my bed and imagine something magical, mysterious…ethereal. The music would dance inside my soul and make my mind wander to distant lands, places and people. I had a friend who thought it was so odd that I would listen to classical music when most kids our age were bopping their heads to New Kids on the Block and Michael Jackson. (Am I dating myself here?) But when she came over and I cranked up the classical tunes she soon began to fall helplessly under its spell. So, then both of us would lay flat on our backs, eyes closed, and imagine wonderful adventures, peaceful gardens and ancient lands.

Now that I’m a little bit older I still get sucked into the music that makes my imagination soar. I sit here and peer out the window into the lush greenness of Oregon and soak in Bach. Life can’t get much better than this. The melody, the notes, the passion behind the music makes me believe the one who wrote it truly knew how to live. It makes me think he understood the importance of each moment. It makes me believe he didn’t rush through life, running here and there but soaked in each minute with gratitude. I close my eyes and let the music absorb into my skin. Heavenly.

Sep 16, 2007


I love to sit in silence and breathe in God. Have you ever done that? Just closed your eyes and breathed Him in? He's there. He's in our our very being.

I imagine Him sitting with me, watching me, listening to every word I say. He listens carefully and doesn't make a move. His eyes are on me and He reads between every line, every fear, every apprehension. I can't hide from Him and this brings me comfort instead of fear.

He's here. He cares. He listens and acts on my behalf. He wants me to live a life of freedom.

What makes me doubt? What makes me break the silence? Why do I let go of His presence?

I close my eyes and rest my head on His shoulder. He never leaves my side. He never walks away. Always there. Always safe. I breathe Him in and I know He is good.

Sep 14, 2007

Favorite Things

It's starting to feel like Fall. Cool breeze. Colors change ever so slightly into those warm musky colors that make me want to snuggle up to something cozy. The beginnings of hot chocolate, comfy blankets and movie nights while it's raining outside. I love this time of year. I love watching the kids go to school with their new clothes and back packs on...all wide eyed and giddy with the new year. Pumpkins are getting ready to poke their orange goodness onto the world so we can carve them into creative faces. "Hello Pumpkins!"

I think God likes Fall. I usually think God likes everything that I like. But, since He is my bestfriend He would naturally love everything that I love. His favorite things would be Fall, peanutbutter, ice cream, rainbows on a slighty sunny day, cute little kids with pudgy little faces, stars at night, the ocean with all of it's mysteries, fluffly green trees, laughing, hugging, and everything that makes me wanna smile.

But nothing makes God happier than the people that make all these things worth while. What good is ice cream if you don't have anyone to share it with? What good is a gorgeous rainbow if you're all alone to see it? And hugging is pretty near impossible without someone to hug. The things I cherish in life are all the more dear to me when I'm with the people I love and care about. Friends, family, heck... even nice strangers, make the day's worth while.

Yea, these are definitely God's favorite things.

Sep 13, 2007

Angels on Earth

Two angels flew down,
they swooped me up and carried me.

When my light was growing dim,
their love grew brighter.

Sent from God above,
sent because He loves me.

Two beautiful angels flew down,
His love shines through them.

dedicated to Ash and Jordan :)

Sep 11, 2007

Never too Late

Jesus was 30 years old when he started his "ministry". Jesus was crucified at the age of 33. He basically turned the world upside down in a small span of three years. I find this wonderfully amusing. Many of us, myself included, feel like we should have accomplished a million things by the time we reach 30 years old. We should have a husband or wife, kids, a mortgage and a dog named Winky.

If Jesus changed the entire world in just three years think of the things we can accomplish. Jesus said that we will do even greater things then He. All things are possible through Jesus. He has promised to do more than we can ever hope for or imagine. Three years. Think about it. Think about what God wants to accomplish through us if we would just let him.

It's never too late and it's never too early. Jesus was 30 when he began to change His world. Joseph was 30 when he became Potiphar's top man. Moses was...well old when he began to lead the Israelite's out of Egypt. Noah was old when he finished the ark. David went through many years of struggle before he actually became King to which he was promised.

We can't give up. We can't allow the voice of the enemy or the opinions of others to say it's too late or that there's not enough time left. Three years! Jesus made history. Think what we can do if we just trust God and allow him to do what He does best. He takes the little that we have and turns it into something huge.

It's never too late.

Sep 10, 2007

Peeking In

Guilt sneaks in like a slimy snake. Unoticed. Quiet. She was having a good week but there was this nagging tug in the back of her mind. She couldn't quite place her finger on it, but it was there and it was slowly creeping in wanting to take over. She focused on a small crack at the top of the ceiling. She wondered how long it had been there. She closed her eyes and ran through her week. Had she wronged someone? Had she done something she forgot to repent for? She opened her eyes again and refocused. Tired, she slowly got off the couch and walked over to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee.

She thought about the person she was, the person she wanted to be and the person she didn't want to be. Was she striving for perfection? No. Only God is perfect. Then what was she striving for? She took a sip of her coffee and plopped back on the sofa. She grabbed her Bible and opened up the tattered book. Asking for wisdom she ruffles through the pages until she finds her favorite passage. She runs her fingers across the letters and breathes in deeply.


Sep 8, 2007

Mindy Loo

Mindy Loo, My Mindy Loo
How wonderful you are!

You brighten up my hum drum day,
You are a shining star!

You come and go like winter snow,
Away, away you fly.

Don't worry little heart of mine,
for soon no more goodbyes!

Mindy Loo, My Mindy Loo
How wonderful you are!

Can't wait to see your smiling face,
You are my shining star!

Love you Mindy!!! Be safe!

Sep 3, 2007

I'm Awake Now!

Life really is nothing like I thought it would be. does one predict one's life? It's kind of funny if you think about it. Our predictions are pretty much all the things we would want to happen. How convenient and incredibly boring we are. I say my life has turned out nothing like I thought it would, but what I should really say is, "My life should have happened just like this!"

It's so nice when I allow God to direct my day. I'm always amazed by the numerous blessings He pours over me when I'm not only searching for the things I want. I might say to myself, "Wow, this day happened nothing like I thought it would!" Or I might say, "Wow, this day was awesome and I'm so glad I was not in control of it!"

What am I really asking? Am I really wanting my life to turn out the way I want it to? Am I really wanting God to say, "Okay, Case, here you go. Here's your life...exactly how you wanted it to happen. No twists and turns anymore. You got it...just the way you like."


Maybe I should except the fact that life was never meant to be the way I thought it was going to be.

Guess what? I'm awake now!

It's late...I mean early!'s past 3:00 in the morning and for some odd reason I'm wide awake. Maybe it's those three cups of caffene I guzzled down today. Just a thought. I really have nothing profound to say. What a surprise right? Does anyone's mind actually function well at 3am? The only thing I'm really good for right now is the ability to giggle at almost anything which might boost someone's self esteem. I guess that counts for something.

Good night...I mean all my peeps out there. It's good to be blessed.